Not Cool

I didn’t have photographs as proof, and in most of the memories I own, I am not always right.

When we try to get ourselves in control with our lives, we realize more that we are not always in command on how we want to lead our lives and live it. We stumble more often than we want and we get awarded with challenges that would sometimes convince us to let go but more often we move on.

I started writing the first two paragraphs of this entry 3 weeks ago. After a long self- committed hiatus from this personal journal, I was back into that condition where I wouldn’t know what to tell first and where to start. I stopped writing any of my thoughts on December last year as a sort of observing poignancy to a non-eventful experience which happened during Christmas day seven years ago and the succeeding months right after. It’s mostly the ghost in me that couldn’t break loose and would drive me into a repetitive existential crisis. So I thought, maybe if I don’t nurture it, it would just die without feeding from any of the sad notions of tomorrow.

I would’ve fuck your mind like this song did with mine.

Now it serves my evil purpose just to see her

Though I know now what she says is untrue

And the things she makes me count

But, for the record, count me out

"honey harder baby!” that’s what she screamed

Now she makes me wait beneath the cloud of darkness

Like a lover in despair, I thank you

For the things you made me see

All through the madness

You taught me well, forget your wedding bells

Ah, she’s so uncool

She’s the loneliness that hangs beneath your cradle

Though you know that what I say it ain’t true

Well the gift I gave today don’t really matter

It’s the clothes she wears,

And the way she swears

Ah, she’s so uncool

Ah, she’s so uncool

Ah, she’s so uncool

"She’s So Uncool" by rivermaya