I wish I was a Troubadour

I have yet to learn how to write in a not so depressing and angsty manner. I’m yawning endlessly while typing this down, remembering the last time I’ve been in slumber in a good warm bed at night. I haven’t slept for two years now. Since my work requires me to stay up at night and serve the slave-drivers of the-so-called-first-world-countries. I yawned again and swear this time it smelled like “Langka”. This day’s not really bad at all, it just the eternal pessimist in me and, nothing else. I don’t know but the more articulate I get and the more I understand how things go in this world, like bad noontime shows and reality tv’s in abs-cbn, the more pathetic I get. I’ve started practicing playing guitar again, reminding me of how I suck so much now and how I haven’t improve on the type of songs I’ve been listening to for the past few years. I used to have an extensive album collection in cassette tapes (Since, I couldn’t afford cd’s then and I’m not really into piracy). It could take up 2 drawers in our cabinet I remember. I know all they lyrics of the songs to most of these albums. I still do now, its just that these tapes aren’t in good shapes anymore. Most of it doesn’t have any cases anymore, some with torn leaflets and all sound rusty and faded. Something about having your siblings inherit these treasures of your youth wasn’t really a good idea in the first place. When I play these albums it just sends me to a time machine back in transit to the 90’s. The Greatest Decade Ever. I had all of Pearl Jam’s and Nirvana’s album, Soundgarden, Blind Melon, Oasis, Collective Soul, Bush, Creed (when they still rock and haven’t sold out), 3eB, RATM and so many alternative bands that sprouted out like wild mushroom on a wet summer day. And of course it wouldn’t be complete without the all too famous pinoy rock scene that most of the kid’s from my generation were so proud of because we thought that we were actually fighting out with the government with the anthems of our youth. I got Eheads, Wolfgang, Rivermaya (when bamboo was still singing with them) yano, the youth, parokya ni edgar (when they were still cross dressing) true faith, afterimage and francism ( when there was no linkin park yet, and he was rappin with rock n roll). I’m glad that my siblings listened to the same music that I did, and somehow my mother liked it too. Humming her ways on huling el bimbo and wonderwall. But I wasn’t glad my brother destroying my tapes, hehehe. Maybe not destroyed but much more of not taking care of it. I still hadn’t improve on upgrading my type of music. Mainly because most of the artists now I think are just sell outs like Paolo Santos for that matter, sings mostly covers, and just basically taking credits on performing covers. Foreign wise, look at Simple Plan and Avril Lavign, I know Alanis then was emotionally driven, and though she sings about what she feels? these guys just mainly whine in their songs. Artists then have balls and you can feel it in their music and they inspire you to think and do something constructive and at the same time pogo. They make you save your allowance to buy their albums and work with your mom to clean the toilet to give you money for concert tickets. Now kids complain so much but do nothing at all. What a bunch of whiners. There have been some good stuffs too though that came out this year. But there are only too few of ‘em that I really liked. I like listening to a troubadour’s music now like Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Damien Rice, John Mayer, David Gray and Jason Mraz. Its not mainly because of the ever popularizing acoustic scene that so-called-new-pinoy-artists who only cover songs and record labels capitalizing on, but its because I like the genuiness of their lyrics and the organic sound they create without really caring about where they’re playing it whether on the sidewalks of a busy city, a cold farm of Ireland or the tidal beach of Hawaii. These are the new troubadours of our generation, getting the torch from James Taylor, Don Mclean, John Denver, Bob Dylan, Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen of the past. Reminds me of the time when guitar was the only possession I’ve ever wanted and playing it was the only relationship I know with songs as prayers I religiously chant everyday. I could have been a Troubadour.