SoulEd Out

For the past couple of days, I’ve been trying out real hard to go back to my way of thinking when I was a lot younger, my ideals, dreams, and passions. I guess for the past five years I've been just floating around to much on "I don’t knows”, "I don’t cares" and 'What ifs". I agree with Rhod, I think we might have been stuck on 22. I still feel like its 2001 and just got off from college. It must have been that there hasn't been any substantial things that happened for the past few years and time must have ticked under someone else’s pillow that I slept and haven’t really noticed its been this long since then. Its not that there hasn't really been any great things at all that happened, don’t get me wrong, it may have been because there were so few of ‘em that I could only remember or I was just fuckin selfish to really notice. My memory of the past few years is measured on how many times I went home, went to Baguio, official holidays, birthdays, seen old friends, and went out with my buddies. Considering the fact that we literally lived and stayed in one house and seen each other everyday when we were in still in school, now it seems that meeting up would mean adjusting to everyone's schedule, traveling for a couple of hours and sometimes battling yourself out to infinite nothingness because no matter how hard you try to get them together somehow, someone wouldn’t be able to make it. I guess time has taken its toll on us. Tzard has gained more weight than his usual size, same with MB and he also has torn his Achilles tendon a couple of months back playing basketball, Ry has his eyes look more tired than before, Mike has completely shaven his head since his hair has been receding anyway, and my arthritis has been killing me hehehe. Well, the change is not all bad though. I guess we have come to the point that we can already allow some things to be compromised. If I only know now what I knew then. Have I sold out? Would it be better to stay naive but pure? I promised myself not to be submissive on lot things that the city will impose to me. I didn't for a while but I think due the persistence of everyone around me I've managed to sell my soul to industrial lifestyle and to the working class. I even own a credit card now, hell's gate pass as I call it before. Money that you never have, allows you to consume production that you don't even need. My eye's even sore every time I drive by EDSA with thousands of billboards compelling you to purchase things that aren't necessary. I hope I'm not the only one complaining. Hopefully by the end of this week, I'll manage to gather up my thoughts and be able to direct myself to the wisdom and youth we once had.